• POT SECRETS

Pretty Chocolate Pot Cake Pops for Smiths Falls

When I first met my roommate in University, Pam, I remember she described her hometown of Smiths Falls by saying, “You know, it’s near Ottawa? It’s where the Hershey’s factory is.”


I didn’t know. But it sounded nice. Pam had probably spent her childhood in school with little hard-working green-complexioned people who liked to sing, getting in trouble for chewing gum in class that tasted like pie. If Pam is still in Smiths Falls now, though, she’s likely seeing a lot more green than just mini factory worker complexions.

Let’s back up a little. It’s true that when I met Pam in my first year of University, at an undisclosed ancient calendar date, the Hershey plant was the lifeblood of her hometown. In 2007, though, not SO long after we had graduated, Hershey’s announced that it would be leaving Smith’s Falls — some say this was due to a labour dispute, others due to globalization, still more say it was the fault of the high Canadian dollar... Who cares. They left. And when they did, a small, struggling Ontario town became more of a floundering, flailing town that wanted to drown itself in the Rideau Canal.

Then, in 2014, along came a superhero in the form of a giant cannabis corporation – Tweed, now known as Canopy Growth. At 470,000 square feet, the Hershey factory was too big for what they thought they needed, but they decided to buy it anyway and give things a go. The mayor of Smiths Falls, Dennis Staples, was especially welcoming, not only because the new acquisition would lead to jobs, but also because his brother, who had died of colon cancer at only 55, had used cannabis for pain management in the end. Pot had already secured itself a special place in Staples’ heart.

And from that moment, a chocolate-centric town became a ganja-centric town. (Insert reggae for background music here, even though Smiths Falls is pretty damn white). Smiths Falls, a town of 8800, was now home to the biggest grow-op in the world, supplying Canada with its legal weed pretty much as a monopoly, because we all know that small growers can’t be given any kind of responsibility and/or artisan credibility (ahem).



Anyway, on with the good part of the story. In Smiths Falls, citizens got jobs, businesspeople moved in, and the vibe of the town became decidedly more chill (coincidence? I think not).

And so, I dedicate this pretty little chocolate cannabis cake pop recipe to the pot loving people of Smiths Falls. Please use any chocolate other than Hershey’s while baking them.


#weedporn #edibles #potedibles #smithsfalls #canopygrowth #tweed


Chocolate Pot Cake Pops

Difficulty: Not gonna lie, this one is pretty Martha, but rewarding. You'll win the special baking contest, blunts down.


Bag of Tricks

  • 8 or 9 inch round cake pan

  • Parchment paper

  • Candy melts (those fake chocolate disks)

  • Cake pop sticks (bigger lollipop sticks)

  • Pretty sprinkles

  • A hunk of styrofoam

  • A food processor

  • A baking sheet

Yield/Dose Assumptions

  • Approximately 32 cake pops using ½ cup of cannabutter gives about 4 mg THC per piece. This is a pretty low dose -- good for beginners, and/or you'll just have to eat two!

Suggested Mood/Strain

  • Tokyo Smoke is one of Canopy's brands, so I'm going to suggest "Go" a sativa-dominant strain that will give you the energy you need to focus on decorating these pops

Time Required

  • About 40 minutes to bake the cake

  • Time to let the cake cool to room temperature

  • 10 minutes to prepare the cake balls

  • At least 30 minutes to chill the cake balls

  • About 45 minutes to decorate the cake balls

Ingredients:

Cake

  • ½ cup (113 g) room temperature cannabutter

  • ¾ cup (150 g) brown sugar

  • 2 small eggs or 1 big one

  • splash of vanilla

  • ¾ cups (107 g) all-purpose flour

  • ½ cup (45 g) cocoa powder

  • 1 tsp baking powder

  • ½ tsp baking soda

  • a few turns of salt

  • ½ cup sour cream, whisked with ¼ cup of water

Cake Pop Finishing

  • ½ cup chocolate icing/frosting (I buy pre-made, why do you need more to do?)

  • 2 tbsp neutral-tasting oil, like canola or sunflower

  • 1 package candy melts (340 g). Choose a colour that inspires you

  • Sprinkles


Method:

Chocolate Cake

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.

  2. Prepare 8 or 9" round cake pan. Grease it up. Trace the bottom of the pan onto parchment paper, and cut out the circle. Stick the circle to the inner bottom of the pan. Now cut out 1 or 2 two-inch wide parchment paper strips. Stick the strips around the inside walls of the pan, so that the inner surfaces are covered in parchment. Set aside.

  3. In your favourite mixer, cream together cannabutter and sugar. Add egg(s). Add vanilla.

  4. In a separate bowl, mix the dry ingredients — flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

  5. In a small bowl, mix sour cream with water.

  6. Starting with the flour mix, alternate additions of flour and sour cream to the mixing bowl, finishing with flour. Pour the batter into the prepared pan.

  7. Bake the cake, checking it at 25 minutes. The cake is done when you can stick a knife into the centre and it comes away dry. Pop the cake out onto a rack and take the parchment off. Let it cool completely.

Now you have a perfectly gorgeous spiked chocolate cake. But let's make it into pretty cake pops that will impress your stoner friends.



Cake Pops

  1. Pulse your cooled cake in a food processor. Add ¼ cup of icing/frosting (depending if you're Canadian/American), pulse, and add the remainder.

  2. Make little dough balls of even size, about the size of golf balls, and put them on a cookie sheet. Pop the cookie sheet into the fridge for at least a half hour.

  3. Heat the candy melts in a microwave-safe bowl for about 1 minute. Give them a stir. If not completely melted, give it another 30 seconds. Stir. Add 1-2 tbsp oil. The consistency of the melts should be fairly loose -- should drip from your spoon in a slow, steady stream. Pour the melted melts into a mug. Prepare your sprinkles in small bowls close by. Also have your hunk of styrofoam ready.

  4. Jam a stick into a ball. Dip the ball into the melts in the mug. Let the excess "chocolate" drip off into the mug, tapping it as needed. Wait until the ball is still shiny (but not fluid, or your sprinkles will move), and drizzle sprinkles over it (or place them, if they're bigger and you want them in certain spots). When finished, stick your pop into the styrofoam block to dry completely. Repeat until all pops are decorated.

  5. Eat a pop and check out the Railway Museum in Smiths Falls. It's the second-most interesting thing to see in town.

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© 2020 by ANN ALLCHIN